Part I: Introduction To The Subject.

It has been a long time since I last found the time to sit down and write for this website. I’m glad Jon didn’t lose faith in me. With everything that went on in my RL during the last... however long it was (was it really two years?), gaming and writing about gaming, became a luxury which has not always been in my “time-wallet” to afford. One of the issues I faced was that I was living with a non-gamer, in fact, I'd almost go as far as to say anti-gamer.

The relationship demanded a reduction of my gaming time to make way for more personal time with her. This combined with living far away from the other gamers I played with, caused some friction within my gaming groups. I did my best to always keep in touch, and, even when they’d get mad at me for not showing up at one time or another, they’d still keep on calling me and would keep my characters alive, albeit as NPC's during my periods of absence. Eventually, I broke up, and moved closer to the city, on my own. My gamers’ patience paid off, and we’re playing more frequently now than ever before.

Now, there’s this player in one of my gaming groups that started what seems to be a flourishing relationship with a nice lady, but his approach to the 'less gaming time' problem has been to never show up again, and lose total interest in the hobby. This didn’t bother me so much, since I’ve been through something similar, but it has enraged part of the group, which I found kind of odd.

Part II: Case Study #1; Gaming vs. RL.

Hey there, it's Matt again. Last time I told you about the amazing (ho ho ho) developments of my recent gaming life experiences. I focused on the matter of gamer absenteeism and the implications of RL (Real Life) vs. gaming life. Now, what I’m going to say comes from a 26-year-old with more than eleven years of gaming under my belt.

Case Study #1, Gaming Life vs. RL

I’ve met some gamers that consider someone who favours their own real life experiences over the weekly (or so) gaming table meeting, to be a traitor. This can’t be further from the truth. Gaming life is a part of our life (as gamers), true. But, our job, our love life, our studying time, are all equally important things that have to be given their own space and time in life. Gaming is something we do for pleasure, to make the relative bleakness of the world more survivable. Gaming is like music, it is an entertainment that helps our consciousnesses fly, and us to dream (at least, gaming in its purest form, the way I see it), but should not replace the things that make up life, because that would make it closer to a drug-addiction. It should always be a complement to life, like dessert after dinner.

Part III: Case Study #2; Frequent Gamer Absenteeism.

Hi there, this is Matt once again, continuing on the subject of the gamer’s response to Real Life interfering with the precious gaming time, and what to do when Real Life wins.

Case Study #2, Reasons For Gamer Absenteeism

Before approaching this, I’ll assume the gamer in question is a) a friend, and/or b) a great gamer. If none of the criteria above are met, it’s easy and simple (sometimes even a blessing) to ask them not to partake of the gaming table anymore.

The most important thing, and key to any successful relationship is communication. So, the first thing to do, is to speak with the absentee gamer, and to try to find out why he/she is missing the meetings. This can lead to many explanations. The most common I’ve heard are with regards to work schedules, exam season coming up, wanting to see the girlfriend (or boyfriend) more, or (and this is related to communication issues) the gamer’s dissatisfaction with the current state of the game (campaign, chronicle, whatever). Work schedules, I have found, are one of the biggest rocks we can find on our path. Sometimes, they can be worked around; for instance, a solution I’m reaching with one of my groups (from work) is to play on week nights, a few hours per night (since all of us have different days off and timetables).

Part IV: Wrapping Up & Final Words On The Issue

Hello, everybody! This is Matt, once more, on the KMANT Column. These last weeks we were dealing with gamer absenteeism and how to work around it. This week, we’ll discuss the last of the most common reasons to be absent from the gaming table.

Last week, I wrote about how to work around schedules, which is sometimes a drag, but can be done if we manage to work around a bit, now, towards other common reasons to be absent.
Exam season is sacred. If all of the gamers are studying, it’s simply best to put a hiatus to the chronicle, and resume after the exam period is over. If not, I’ve found the following possibilities to be rewarding; spin-offs of the current chronicle, with the gamers that can make it using different characters (so the studying gamer is not sleepwalking through the main story as a mindless NPC), or simply, starting a mini-chronicle that’s supposed to last only through exam season.
Gaming life vs. love life. Well, if our gamer needs or wants to spend more quality time with his/her significant other, then, trying to stop that is not only childish, but extremely stupid. It should be arranged with the player if this will be a permanent state of affairs, thus waving him goodbye of the gaming table and wishing him the best, or if it’s a temporary thing. Better yet, sometimes, the S.O. is an understanding person, and will accede to share his/her lovebird with us gamers, maybe every two weeks or so. The key here is to understand that our gamer is not a traitor for wanting to be with the person that makes him feel the best.

As for the “I don’t like your chronicle”, let’s let that be the subject matter of our column next week.

Matt “I do like my chronicle, and you’re so damn stupid for not understanding its inherent perfection… just kidding!” Timm