Product Review

Let me tell you a tale of bored heroes (...kind of) and an amazing discovery….

We finished playing Mutant Chronicles at around 2:30 in the morning, several characters had died fighting various Dark Legion minions but we had eventually triumphed and escaped to celebrate our victory. No one was tired though, so the problem we had now was what could we do for the rest of the night? We were in the middle of rural Shropshire, with nothing for miles around and even if there had been anything it would have been closed anyway. The reluctance of the group to watch any of the available videos again (Outbreak, Pelican Brief or Patriot Games) clearly showed that we needed an alternate form of entertainment.

This is when our host got one of his old “arcane” magazines out and we decided to play the game that came free with it - Puppetland. This is, in all truth a ridiculous game as far as serious roleplaying goes. You play puppets, which are attempting to escape across the lake of milk and cookies to a promised land beyond. But at the time… 2:30 in the morning… after a long hard Mutant Chronicles game… after a combination of fizzy-drink, crisps, doughnuts and chocolate… it is one of the fondest gaming memories I have.

But, I’ll tell you about Puppetland some other time, for now I am going to tell you about another game. This is another not-so-serious RPG, which is not to say that it lacks quality. It is simply designed to be played in a different style. This is another one of the games that will reign supreme if played at the right time in the right place with the right people. You should be among good friends, the kind of people you don’t mind looking stupid in front of. You should be in a relaxed place, sit in comfy chairs not round a table. You should have nothing to do, no other adventures to finish or work to do. Satisfy these criteria and gaming paradise awaits you.

Let the good times roll…

Land of OG is A5 in size and only about 64 pages in length, but it has comedy packed into every square inch. In the game you play cavemen and with the games “no use big words play OG” catchphrase ringing in your ears you will soon be rolling on the floor with tears of joy in your eyes (or tears of pain… if you failed to explain to another player that a T-Rex was coming and he took his death a little hard).

The premise is set: you are a caveman and your world is filled with all manner of dinosaurs, which makes survival top of your list. So, you club (surprise a club joke!) together with other cavemen in the hope that you will be able to face the predatory beasts as a team. But there is a problem. Communication is still at the level of grunts and pointing. This means that your starting character will only have access to ONE word, unless he is the Smart caveman who pushes the boat out with a whole TWO words.

Get ready to rumble… with laughter as you try and achieve anything as a group. Remember; just because you know the word for Fire, it doesn’t mean any of the other cavemen do. This effectively renders all speech to pointing, miming, grunting and rejoicing in the few words you all actually do understand.

Did you say Smart Caveman?

Yes I did. In OG there are several different cavemen types to choose from:

Firstly, we have Strong Caveman, who is obviously stronger than the other cavemen. Secondly we have Smart Caveman, who as I mentioned earlier gets two words and is generally more clever than his fellow cave dwellers. Next up we have Fast Caveman, who is (unsurprisingly) quick on his prehistoric feet. Then we have Banging Caveman, who is basically the fighter of the caveman world, be it with clubs, rocks or fists the solution is always the same, Bang it!

Healthy Caveman is the helpful Mr Motivator of the group, but like Mr Motivator not everyone likes a smug git, still he’s in better shape than the rest and hence can serve a purpose. Finally we have Grunting Caveman; this guy is the king of making grunting noises. Whether these serve any real purpose or not is up for debate, but they have been known to cause amazing things to happen and the bizarre unknown effects could be just what saves your skin.

And the rules?

The rest of the book gives you the suitably simple and easy to use set of rules you’ll need to actually play the game. This ranges from the amusingly deadly combat to the rules for character advancement, which lets you learn new words! The wonderful people over at Wingnut Games have also seen fit to include the miniature rules with this edition of OG as well. So now you can take to the field of battle and render your friends cavemen unconscious. This offers a weatlh of comedy fun and should be played in conjunction with drink and friends.

The book also specialises in a unique “take the piss out of other well known companies” style of writing, which only adds to the feeling of the game. After all if you can’t laugh your hobby your probably missing a huge joke, and that goes for every hobby not just roleplaying.

All in all this is a classic game, it’ll probably never make the top of a “greatest RPG’s of all time” list but then it’s not meant to be in the same league as the other games. It should be used as a comedy break, which gives you a chance to take a rest from goblin slaying, magic tapping and saving stuff. It’s a good fun game and if you play it accordingly you’ll be retelling your adventuring stories and chuckling about how the Smart caveman left you all to die while he escaped for years to come.

Beware! You could have so much fun being a caveman you lose all grip on reality, bash your girlfriend / random female on the head and drag her off to your cave / shed to practice grunting.

Reviewed By Jon Simpson